Responsibility and the Dog

Do you have a dog?  I do not.  I have friends and relatives who have dogs, even a new lab/Shepard cross puppy.  I realize that dogs are lots of work – time to train, feed, walk, medical care, not to mention the love and attention they require.  I have been told having a dog is like having another child.  When I was growing up, we always had cats, so what I saw/observed was a very self-sufficient animal who took care of himself and actually stayed a little aloof from people instead of needing constant attention.

Well, Bubba, being the older child, was told he needed responsibility,  so it quickly became his job to make sure the dog did his business and clean up after it.  The adults even let the dog (when Bubba was visiting with Girl) use the basement as a toilet.  It was awful!  Bubba begged Girl to not talk to the other two (Boy and Lilith) about it because they would get very mad at him.  It was becoming evident that there were things that happened with the children that Girl would never know about until way after the fact (if at all) because they were afraid of the consequences at Boy’s house.

Note:  you will see at a later date how much of this information came to be told to Girl.

Nothing Going On ($#%&^%$#!!)

Boy reassured Girl that there was nothing going on between him and Lilith.  Boy reassured Girl that the children think she is nice and that they would not be left alone with her.  Lilith is simply a border.  Girl is not that stupid and knows something is up.  She sees that Boy is easing this stranger into their lives -his, the children and her life!  Boy does not introduce Girl to Lilith – Girl of course, introduces herself.  Girl is adamant that this woman, with no child-raising experience, have no say in how the boys are raised, and that Boy needs to maintain his role as the parent in the household, completing homework and the rest of the duties required of being a parent.  Lilith always hid from Girl – staying away from the door when Girl dropped off the boys, or being in the kitchen acting productive (more on this later).

Girl got to wondering, since it had only been less than 2 months that she moved out, the divorce papers had not yet even been completed, how long had this plan to move Lilith in  been in the works.  Girl knew that Lilith worked with Boy in the kitchen of a strip club.  Boy went to work for a ‘catering’ company that was located in the back of a strip club.  Lilith worked there and for a while so did Girl’s brother.  Boy found this strip-club job after getting kicked out of the United States and previously leaving his secure job with benefits.

Note:  Lilith worked (and now works) wherever Boy worked (works).  He hires her as  kitchen help because she does not have any qualifications or certifications.  Must be some insecurity issues on both sides – they need to be in each other’s sight at all times.

 

Girl found it hard to understand who was orchestrating what at this time – Boy or Lilith?  Boy did not (and still does not) have the guts to actually carry out a plan like this without having the back up waiting.  

The First Solo Christmas

Girl always loved Christmas – especially cooking the meal!  

It was never an easy time.

o christmas tree

Christmas, especially the first one, was difficult.  Girl worked a lot of hours up to Christmas – getting the business running with a whole new team, not knowing what to expect and it was the busiest time of the year.

Girl bought a metal tree to hold candles because her condo could not hold the huge tree she would have loved for the boys.  Girl bought a topiary stand and covered it with green twinkle lights to add to the atmosphere.  It looked very sweet and the kids liked the different spin on Christmas decor.

Girl wondered what to get the boys, spent hours figuring it out only to be disappointed by the fact that their grandmother bought them the same thing.  Kids don’t know better so they told Girl.

The three spent Christmas Eve at Church with Girl’s parents and then girl dropped the boys back with their father.  Christmas morning, Girl picked Bubba and Peanut up to open presents and then go to MammaMia’s for lunch.  It was a nice day, although sad and awkward at times.  Girl and the 2 children took a super photo which was to become a Christmas tradition. Girl brought the children back to their dad’s house and went home to sleep.  Boxing Day would be busy at the business and she needed to be there by 6 am.  Girl cried herself to sleep that night.

It Starts to Fall Apart

Boy was gone and already communication started to fall apart. Lilith thought she ruled.  Thought she was in charge.  Portrayed herself as supermom, not the wishy-washy and soon to be vindictive, low self-esteem, wine guzzling bitch.  Lilith always had low self-esteem, still does.  She relies on Boy to get her jobs, works in the kitchen as ‘help’ though she tries to tell everyone she is the sous chef….when there are only 2 of you in the kitchen, you are the help.

Girl would call every night as she always did to say good night  to the children, now the phone was not being answered, or calls would go to voicemail, or messages not passed along. This was Lilith’s way of stemming communication and ties so that the boys would not want to leave to go elsewhere.  Her attempt at sending a message to Girl that she was now the mom.  This would not last!

The Meeting Starts

Boy explains to Girl that he has been unemployed since January.  It is now April.  He stated that he was let out of his contract at the Golf Club because he had an argument with a Board Member.  Girl interprets this as ‘Boy was shooting his mouth off, thinking he could get away with being the eccentric chef, with little clue as to how little power his position actually held’.  Boy, Lilith and the children had been living off of the severance package that he was provided with the termination.  (When Boy tells the story later it becomes that his contract ended and was not renewed….so why would they give you a severance package jackass!)

The First of Many Bumps in the Road

Christmas of course, was spent back at MammaMia’s with the Christmas traditions surrounding the family.  There are some things that don’t change.  Funny though, in the last few month, Girl had been receiving notices from the bank that the mortgage had not been paid on Boy’s house.  Girl had to remain on the mortgage and the deed of the house because Boy could not afford, not did he have the credit (with or without Lilith) to get his own mortgage.  Girl let Boy know that she had received this letter and Boy said it must be a mistake.  He would check into it and make sure everything was as it should be.